What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What ended your relationship with your best friend?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why is Reddit blocked by the Indonesian government?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Is depression a cause for always feeling tired?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do men suck dick? Me, I can't get enough

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What do you think hell is like?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How can I decorate my house creatively?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

You guys are talking about having sex with dogs. I heard a news man was trying to have sex with a female dog and got stuck inside. Is that possible? How does it feel inside a dog’s vagina?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Humans have evolved and become hairless and odor free. How do other races learn about evolution since evolution does not apply to them?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why is the left keep misrepresenting what Trump said about his daughter? When asked if he would date her if he weren’t her father, it simply reflected pride in raising a smart, respectful, and loving daughter with good morals all men want that no?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.